Afraid to Lose
by Ardala91
Summary: Imagine Derek had never saved Odette, and that he married another. Imagine that Odette had given in to Rothbart. Imagine that years have passed, and their children meet. The unexpected happens, countries are at war, and secrets from the past are revealed. ON HOLD.
1. Prologue

Afraid to Lose

Prologue

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"_Real loss only occurs when you lose something that you love more than yourself."_ –Unknown

Dislciamer: I do not own the Swan Princess.

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It took many months for her to break. The fall, and the fight, had been a long and bitter one that had left her almost destroyed in the end. She had given in after caving in to her utter despair that had cruelly tormented her. There had been no one for her. She had struggled and fought completely _alone_. Her father was dead, murdered by the very man who desired her kingdom and even her. Yet even through the horror of what had laid before her, and her father's death, there had been that hope that _he_ would come. He would save her, and vanquish the man, no…monster, that had destroyed her life.

Months had passed. She had struggled, but still held strong in her defense, though barely. Then….then the monster had told her that _he_ had married another. She could not believe it, refused to believe! It had been a lie, she thought, to try to make her fall. Yet, the monster, in his patience and planning, took her there so that she may see with her own eyes. They had both been under one his spells, invisible and unheard by those present. Then she had seen _him_, walking down the steps inside his palace, a place that she knew as well as her own home…

There had been a crown on his head, gold and glistening in the light, and beside him, with another crown….

Another woman. Young, and beautiful.

It was then and there, what little strength she had had left, fled as her heart was destroyed. She had not wanted to believe it….and yet; she could not hate _him_ for what he had done. He assumed her dead! If only, if only, she could have found a way to reach him…to let him know that she was alive. The only way to now break the curse she was under was to give in to the monster…

There was nothing but a shell left of whom she had been, and she had nothing left to live for. Perhaps she should have cared more about her people, the very fate of her kingdom. Yet love has a way of destroying people, as much of a curse as a blessing….

….That was when she fell….

* * *

He had searched for months, and months. Everyone had told him it was hopeless after the official searches had ended for her. She was dead, they had told him, you must move on. He had refused to believe that. The last words of her father…_ "It's not what it seems,"_ haunted him. Everywhere he looked, and researched everything he could find based off of those words. Yet he never found anything. Nothing. His mother, always trying to help him in her own way, had constantly pressured him to marry another. She threw balls, and brought many "friends" over, who also happened to have young, marriageable daughters.

Eventually, he gave in to their words and pleas to move on. Yet deep down, he _knew_ that she was still alive. Somewhere, she was alive…and he had failed her. She was the one woman he would ever love so completely. They had known each other for as long as they could remember. He married another, a beautiful woman who deserved a man who could love her entirely. It was no fault of hers, but she knew that far off look in his eyes was for another woman. With time, he started to believe what everyone had agreed with, that she had to be dead.

Then there came the day, when a messenger, frantic and shocked had come to him. Princess Odette had reappeared seemingly out of nowhere in her kingdom, but not alone. A man, known as Rothbart the spell-weaver, had been with her. A man they said, whom had been an enemy of King William, her father. Rothbart had tried and failed to take over her kingdom when she was just a baby with the dark arts. King William had kindly and foolishly been merciful, by only banishing the man. Now, almost nineteen years later, the man had returned with the princess….

Claiming to be the one who had saved her from a horrible monster….and that they had married one another….

He could not believe it. Had she forgotten him, did she love this man? He did not know what to believe or feel. A great joy that she was alive, but another heavy and horrible ripping of his heart out. There was nothing he could do, even if he had wanted too. She was married to another, just as he was. He had a kingdom to rule.

* * *

A/N: This story is not going to be about Odette and Derek, but their children. I thought to myself, what if Derek had never saved her? What if he had married another, and she had given to Rothbart? Then that is where this story came to my head! And I thought, what would their be children be like, and what if...they met? What could happen? So I give to you, Afraid to Lose, and hope you will enjoy it! Please read and review.


	2. Chapter 1: Adalaide

Afraid to Lose

Chapter One:

Adalaide

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"_We cannot destroy kindred: our chains stretch a little sometimes, but they never break."_

-Marquise de Sévigné

Disclaimer: I do not own the Swan Princess.

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As the last child and only girl in my family, I always had a certain degree of favoritism and attention over my two older brothers. Even though Reynold is the heir and Enric is only older than me by several hours. Reynold is three years older than Enric and I, and the crown prince. I am quite aware that I was blessed enough to be born into my family, even with its hindrances of being the royal family of Burgundine. Burgundine is a smaller country, located on the southern side of the Inner Sea. My country is one of smaller sized kingdoms, but fortunate enough to be beside the Inner Sea. It is because of this we are a country that earns much of its profit through trade. Our southern border is mainly mountains and large forests, but we have control over one of the two passes through the mountains that leads to the southern countries.

I was told that before I was born, our country and those around us had little to fear. It was a time of peace, and the threats of war were a distant rumor belonging to other kingdoms. Yet over twenty years ago, the Kingdom of Roelande, located directly across the Inner Sea from Burgundine, started warring with other kingdoms. Slowly, but surely, one country after the next fell, the Kingdom of Roelande has begun to expand into an empire amongst the northern kingdoms. There is a constant fear and whispers here that one day they will cross the Inner Sea and bring their wars here. My father told me there is nothing to fear, for Roelande has no navy, while we do. My father has spent the last twenty years preparing our forces in case they ever dared to attack us. All of the southern kingdoms are alert and prepared. We do not want to be caught unaware, as the first of the northern kingdoms did all of those years ago.

Yet despite all of this, the Kingdom of Roelande still trades with us and other southern kingdoms. Of course, the southern kingdoms have maintained neutrality, not wanting to provoke Roelande into attacking us. For all of our preparations, no kingdom has stood and survived being annexed into Roelande's growing empire. My mother once told me that it had been a kingdom like ours, small and peaceful, until their new king was crowned. My parents do not like to talk about the past, and instead tell me that it is wiser to focus on the future. Our kingdom prospers, and even though there is a threat of war, we have had peace and good times. I was raised by loving parents, and received the proper royal education that any could be proud of. Yet is because of who my parents are that I was also tended to by nurses and highly paid teachers the majority of my childhood.

My father is King Derek and was an only child. Only his mother, my grandmother, is alive. His father died in a hunting accident when he himself was only a small child. My father does not like to talk about it or anything from the past really. My grandmother, the previous queen, is the kind, loving grandmother any grandchild could want. Though she schemes these days with my mother to marry off my brothers. My father is an honorable and just man. He has always been affectionate and loved all of us. My mother, Queen Lida, is from the kingdom of Fischer. She has always told me about her childhood and brothers there, for she also had two older brothers just like I do. Someday she wants to take us there, as she always will tell us when we talk about her old home. My mother is a kind and loving woman, though she can be overbearing when it comes to proper conduct. She had always taught us to act according to our positions, and to take our duties to heart. I know my parents love each other, but growing up I noticed that they always maintained a distance I could not understood. I took it to being because of who they are, as royal consorts that they have to worry about their duties first.

As for my brothers, well, Reynold inherited our father's good looks, but our mother's dark chocolate eyes. Reynold is three years older than Enric and I, and shows all of the signs of being a great leader one day. He always had a great sense of humor, and was the peace keeper between Enric and I. As for Enric, he was always the stubborn, pig-headed brother whom deemed it his life's work to torment me! Even now it seems, when our eighteenth birthday is in less than week! Enric and I, though I do love the idiot, can never seem to get along. He is also so full of himself, and constantly flirting with any pretty girl! It is because of being the second prince, and not the heir, that he does not apply himself to our education at all. I know he is smart, but he would rather waste his time instead doing nonsensical things! He was blessed, and the girls cursed I think, to be given our mother's dark looks that draw them in like bees to the honey.

The capital of our country is along the coastline and the royal palace there my home. We did go on summer trips to several of the other castles and estates throughout the kingdom though. I have never travelled outside of my kingdom. I was taught that our capital, while not the largest, is one to be proud of. This coming week is my eighteenth birthday, along with my brother's. My grandmother planned with my mother to throw another of her huge balls for it, more of an excuse in my opinion. There are going to be more than one foreign nobility and royalty at it. Reynold is already now promised to another, a younger daughter of the royal family from Treveri. He has not even met her! The marriage is for political reasons, but we were raised to accept our duties. At least Enric and I are getting a chance to meet the people we might possibly marry at this ball.

I understand my duties, I do, but I dread this upcoming ball. Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I could just get on my horse and ride away. I know I am lucky to belong to such a family, yet I cannot push away dreams of traveling the world. Of being able to fly free with no worries. Of not being burdened with my name, but instead being merely who I want to be. Yet these are only the dreams of an ungrateful child. My mother told me that they will disappear with time.

* * *

One of my favorite places in the palace is the library. While my brothers are content there for only when they need to be, I would spend my whole day in there if I could. Enric had always teased me, saying that I will go blind from reading too much. Today I hid in the library, in one of my favorite spots in a corner by one of the windows. It's hidden behind the book shelves, and the small couch is comfy and the natural light from the window is perfect. The window looks out to the gardens below and the ocean over the northern wall. I was reading my newest discovery in the library, a book about different magical creatures. Lately my interest had been about any books about magic. There are no sorcerers here in our kingdom, but I have heard stories about how there are sorcerers hired by kings in other kingdoms.

The idea of being able to do magic is so enthralling. The things I could be able to do! Like turning Enric into a mouse or something. I smiled at the idea in silent amusement. "What is it that you find funny?" Reynold's voice asked, interrupting my thoughts. I looked up to see my older brother looking at me with a small smile. He walked over and plopped down onto the chair across from me. He always knew where to find me. His dark blue eyes were always full of laughter.

"Considering turning Enric into a mouse," I replied nonchalantly. Reynold guffawed at my response, shaking his head slowly. He brushed aside his dark bangs, which were becoming too long again. Our mother would always have to harass him to cut his hair. The dark brown of his hair contrasted well with his favorite clothing. He always favored simplicity over fancier clothing.

"That wouldn't settle well with mother and father," Reynold told me with a false look of seriousness, "Not when their trying to marry him off." My amused grin disappeared at his last words. Reynold looked at me, and his face became genuinely serious. "Are you nervous about the ball?" He inquired. I shook my head, giving him a look of bravery I hoped looked believable. Reynold's raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "You're not a good liar, Ada."

"I heard the proceedings for your engagement are continuing," I said quickly, hoping to change to conversation about him instead. Reynold looked at me knowingly.

"Yes," He concurred with an expression I could not read. "They are."

"Reynold…" I began, curious and at the same time not wanting to know. He was my older brother, my brother who was the strong one. He was the pillar of strength and role model I had always followed. "Are you nervous? About her, I mean…"

Reynold paused, as if he were thinking of the right words. "Of course," He told me with an encouraging smile.

"Do…do you think you'll love her?" I blurted out, regretting them instantly. I did not need my brother to worry about it more!

Reynold shifted in his seat, not saying anything. He looked at me with a face of courage, hiding his fear. "I don't know," He admitted. "How could I possibly know…"

"It's not fair!" I snapped suddenly. "Mom and dad chose each other! Nothing was arranged for them!"

Reynold gave me a look of warning. "Watch what you say, Ada!" He scolded me kindly. "You don't know everything."

"What's that supposed to mean? I demanded, curious by his last words. Our father had met our mother at one of the balls grandmother likes to do. They had chosen each other, so why should they be able to pick for us? And what did Reynold mean by his last words?

Reynold's eyes became shadowed, but the look quickly disappeared. "Nothing," He muttered. "Anyway, let's go. We are supposed to be having dinner tonight with the family."

I nodded, and shut the book I had been reading. We usually had dinner with the whole family at least once a week. My mother had always considered this to be an important tradition. I stood up, stretching my body after sitting for so long. I followed Reynold as he led me out of the library, and to the private dining room that was used exclusively by the royal family.

* * *

The dining room that we use for a family dinners is a smaller and intimate room. There is a fireplace on one wall, sided by tall windows go along the wall. The walls are made of the usual stone, but are covered on the other walls with banners of the family, current and those long gone. There is a banner in there, a picture of my grandfather whom Reynold is named after. Father and Reynold are both spitting images of him. It is my favorite. The table is circular. My father said he chose that table so that we may all face each other equally. When we entered the room, the rest of our family was already there. My father and mother sat beside each other, and my grandmother beside my father. Reynold took his usual place beside mother, avoiding her annoyed smile at our tardiness. I settled into my spot beside Enric, who sat between Reynold and me. My grandmother sat to the left of me.

"You're late," Enric whispered to me, looking at me smugly. I wanted to slap the look off his face, but held down the urge.

"So what?" I whispered back fiercely. "It's not like this is the last time we're all having dinner together!"

"Thank you for deciding to join us," Our mother's voice said sternly, stopping Enric from replying. I looked up meekly at my mother. She eyed Reynold and me with her dark eyes. My mother is a beautiful woman with raven hair that cascades in curls. She had it up in one of her usual hairstyle that complimented her soft, angular face. Her chocolate eyes, the same as Enrik's, were framed with long, dark eyelashes. My mother has the willowy figure of a woman not to tall or too short. Even though she is approaching her later middle-years, there is not a grey hair on her head. She still is quite beautiful, something that I wish I was. Sadly, I had not inherited my mother's exotic beauty. Her skin had a golden color that Enrik had been the only one to inherit. The only thing I had inherited from my mother was her curly hair, but unlike hers mine was an uncontrollable mane that became a static frenzy at the sight of any moisture. Enrik likes to say I also got her sharp tongue, but I tend not to believe what he says.

"My apologies, mom," I replied quietly. "I was caught up in a book, and Reynold had to drag me away from it."

An amused chuckle came from my father, while a loud snort came from my grandmother. "If only you showed as much interest in getting married, as you do your books!" She stated loudly with a slight whine. My mother's eyes softened at my grandmother's words in humor. My father had a faraway look in his face; something had become prominent of late. He was a good looking man, but age was showing on him. There were deep lines and grey streaks in his dark, brown hair. Enrik was terrified of getting grey hairs. Our grandmother's hair was entirely grey, but Enrik held up hope that he carry after mother as he always did with his looks. We all sat in silence, as father said the usual prayer before we began to eat.

The dinner was excellent as always, starting out with a salad as the first course. The only thing that was missing was wine on my part. Mother would not let me drink any yet, saying I was too young. The unfair thing is that Enrik gets to have wine, even though he is the same age as me! Father talked with Reynold about current affairs with several hearings that had been brought to him during open court today. I half-listened, more interested in my food for was I was starving. Besides that, I did not have much interest in the economy or politics. Why be interested in that, when there is history? Music? Only Reynold found that to be of interest, probably due to the fact he will one day be king. Enrik on the other hand only seems to be interested in physical activities, or anything that seems to have risk involved. His latest recreational discovery I knew to be gambling, but I would not tell on him at the moment. It would be useful blackmail when I needed to use it.

"Are you excited for your birthday?" My grandmother asked suddenly, interrupting my thoughts. I swallowed my food, considering the correct answer.

"Of course, grandma," I lied with a big smile towards her. She beamed at me happily in return. Grandmother only seemed to care about parties and the like interest wise, but I knew she thought she was doing something to make Enrik and me happy for our birthday. The chatter at the table died when the door to the room opened, and a man walked swiftly into the room. He was a middle-aged man, and dressed in the outfit of a messenger. There was a look of sheer horror in his dark eyes, and he sweated visibly as he bowed towards us.

"Your majesties," He said formally, trying to keep his voice stable. I suddenly felt nerves tingle down my spine.

"What is it?" My father intoned in a voice that I could not read. His face was tense though, as well as my mother's.

"I have news," The messenger began darkly. "A….a fleet has been reported to be sailing this way….bearing the flag of Roelande."

I felt the blood drain out of my face, and my body enter a numb shock. That…that was impossible! Yet I knew it to be true when I saw the look of horror on my father's face. He quickly banished it with a look of steady calm. My mother gripped his arm tightly. Reynold looked at the messenger in disbelief, and I was startled to see fear in Enrik's eyes. He always held a look of confidence that I never could achieve. Grandmother grabbed my hand, and squeezed it tightly. My fingers felt numb, but not from her grip.

"When was it spotted? How large?" My father demanded quickly.

"Several hours ago, by one of our merchant ships," The messenger reported. "They said the fleet was the largest they have ever seen. Our own fleet perhaps being a quarter its size."

"Do they have any idea on how long until they get here?" My father continued. His dark, blue eyes had become as cold as the winter.

"From their guess, a few hours at most," The messenger replied heavily.

"Thank you," My father said placidly. "You may go." The messenger bowed, and left the room without another word. My father stood up, removing my mother's hand from his forearm.

"Derek…" She began fearfully. My father shook his head. "Well…." He said, almost as if to himself, "Reynold. Enrik. You are both to come with me." Both of my brothers nodded, and stood up at once. "Lida," He began, looking at my mother. "I need you to prepare whatever you need quickly in order to leave, the same with you mother, and Ada." He continued, looking at us both with steady eyes. "I am going to give the order for the city to evacuate."

My mother stood up slowly, even now maintaining any fear from overtaking her. She had always been a strong woman. My grandmother's lips quivered as she tried to keep from crying. She had always been a strong woman. My grandmother's lips quivered as she tried to keep from crying. My mother walked from her seat, and took my grandmother's hand. "Derek!" My grandmother cried.

"Everything will be alright, mother," He promised her. Tears fell from her eyes, for we all knew that was a lie. True, we did forces from our military here, but our fleet was spread out along our coastline. We would be no match for the size of the fleet that was reported. "I'll see you again before you leave."

My mother pulled grandmother along, swiftly heading for the door. "Come, Adalaide," My mother ordered me. She only used my full name when I had done something wrong, or when she wanted me to do something immediately.

I slowly rose to my feet, and started to follow my mother. I halted, and whirled back to my face my father. "Let me stay!" I pleaded. "I want to help! I don't want to run away like some coward!" I did not have any military training or anything of the sort. That was highly improper for a princess, but that did not mean I did not want to stay and help. Even though I was terrified.

"Are you crazy?" Reynold exclaimed.

"No, Ada," My father said softly. "I want you to be safe, and war is no place for a lady."

I wanted to protest, but closed my mouth. He was right; besides what kind of help could a slip of girl be in war? I eyed my brothers and my father. We would say our goodbyes soon enough, so I turned around to follow my mother. Everything seemed surreal in those minutes. I still could not believe that Roelande was attacking us, after all these years and being told they would never dare to do such a thing. They were not supposed to even have a navy, but it seemed….along with our falsely placed confidence….that we were wrong…

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A/N: Thanks for reading and please review! Next chapter gets even better, for it includes Rothbard and Odette!


	3. Chapter 2: Varick

Afraid to Lose

Chapter Two:

Varick

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"_Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply; those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they now set on fire." _–Kurt Tocholsky

Disclaimer: I do not own The Swan Princess.

* * *

_She sat in her chair, staring at the fire that crackled in the dark fireplace. My mother had banished me from the room once my father had come into it. I watched through the door crack, as any curious five year-old would with mischief on their mind. Her golden hair that fell past her shoulders in waves gleamed in the firelight. I had always reached for her hair, fascinated by it since I could remember whenever she held me in her arms. _

_My father towered over her, his back to her as he brooded at the fire. My mother's eyes were fastened on his back. She seemed happy whenever she was around my older sisters or me, but she would get this far-off look on her face that I did not understand. There was a sadness I wanted to make go away, but nothing I ever did could make it disappear. __My father paid attention to me when he had the time. He would always swoop me up into his strong arms and make me laugh. Yet I had not seen him do that with my sisters, in fact he did seem to pay any attention to them at all. Most of the time he was a distant shadow that none of us knew, but we understood that was because he was the king. And for that, we forgave him for he was a great king...A good king… _

_But the only time my mother's eyes truly became alive were when they were on his back. When he could not see her eyes that flamed with a complete hatred. Even then, I knew that my mother hated my father. Why….I did not know…for he was a good father…_

_I strained to listen eagerly. "It's not enough, Odette," My father's voice rumbled in his chest. He did not turn around. "What if he were to die?" I saw a look of pain flash in my mother's eyes, one of partial horror. What did my father mean? "If I lost him….I would have no other heir!"_

"_We have three daughters," My mother said sharply, looking as if her eyes could murderer him. My father turned around, and the look in my mother's eyes vanished. It was replaced by only plain concern. "I was my father's heir," She added with an acidic aftertaste. _

"_Don't mention that man!" My father suddenly roared. He had a temper, but one that rarely exploded. I frowned confused. My father paused, as if to calm himself. His dark brown eyes blazed like the fire behind him. "I need another son," He said softly, almost as if to himself. _

"_I almost died giving birth to Rick," My mother said with a tone of a plea. Almost died….? My eyes widened in horror. She had almost died to have me? Tremendous guilt pounded against my five year-old heart. "If I have another child, I may die."_

"_No!" I yelled, pushing the door open. I ran to my sitting mother, and threw my arms around her legs. "Don't make her die, dad! Don't make her die!" My mother looked down at me with a shocked expression. Her lightest shaded of purple eyes, the same as mine, seemed to hold a glint of victory though._

_I looked up, tears streaming down my face to see my father's furious and horrified expression. There was a long silence. "I won't make her die, Varick," My father reassured me. He settled down onto one knee, coaxing me into his arms. My father's arms held me comfortingly as I hid my head into his shoulder. "But you're the only son I'll ever have, so you need to be the best for me…."_

* * *

_The memory drifted away like a bubble before me in my sleep. Another seemed to float on by, showing my sister Mailou, who was only older than me by one year. She had father's dark brown eyes, ones that seemed to have a hue of red to them, and his fiery, dark red hair that had mother's waves. She was such a tiny little thing, but seemed to have so much more emotion than it could contain. _

"_I wish I could go with you!" She complained, eyeing me with envy. I was dressed in my new armor that father had had made for me. "Burgundine…across the Inner Sea, they would cower before my sword!" She added with a pretend slash with her hand as if she carried a mighty sword. _

"_More likely they would laugh at your efforts to hold up your blade," I muttered. Mailou scowled at me. "War is not a game, Mailou."_

"_Says the one who has been to a campaign before at the age of fifteen!" Mailou argued. "I'm eighteen, and I have yet to-"_

"_Father would never let a girl fight," I interrupted her, "Outside of the fact that you aren't even trained to fight."_

"_I wish I had been born a boy," Mailou said softly. There was look of old pain and bitterness in her eyes. "Did you know that my name means bitter, Rick? Father gave me that name…if I had been born a boy, he would have loved me like he does you…"_

…_The old guilt hardened in my chest at her words, the universal truth that my sisters and I all knew…_

* * *

My eyes opened to the sight of the wooden, planked ceiling above me. Above my supposed ceiling was the upper bridge on the lead ship of the Roelande Navy, the first military fleet of our nation. The ship moved with the waves underneath me, gently swaying back and forth. My stomach felt the urge to empty itself once more, but I held my arms around my gut, holding down the urge. I gritted my teeth. I am a skilled fighter….I can ride a horse over jumps with ease…I can march with the troops for days…and yet one mere boat ride has me down quicker than a bucking horse! We had already been sailing for several days, and would soon reach our destination...The Kingdom of Burgundine…

My father is the king of Roelande, which under his mighty rule has started to become an empire. Someday my father will be addressed as _emperor, _not with the mere title of being a king. One day I will follow in his footsteps, and lead my future empire into a golden age. My father is setting forth the building blocks for such an era, or so that is what he has always told me. Ever since I can remember I have been told that one day I will follow in my father's footsteps. I am the only son, the only heir, and therefore the most precious in my father's eyes.

My mother…my mother is a fragile thing, one whom is strong one minute and then weak the next. She still glares at him whenever he is not looking with all of her hatred. Mailou once said she thought our mother's undeclared hatred was due to our father's lack of love to his daughters. None of us truly know, but we do know that it is there, unspoken. Just as it is with my father and my sisters.

I was raised with all of the adoration from the servants and my instructors, because I was the youngest and the only heir. My father had me trained as a warrior and a scholar. As a conquering king should be. When I was barely fifteen, I accompanied him on a two year long campaign where two countries were finally annexed into our growing empire. War is not a pleasant thing, and I learned that quickly. Any dreams that I had held of heroism and glory vanished soon after. It is a necessary evil in order to create a peaceful and just future. I sat in the councils with my father, and fought in the battles with my father. Yet there was no fear for my death on the battlefield for my father was beside me. Anyone knows better than to come near my father in battle, for he knows magic. The magic he wields is stronger than any other. He told me it is called the "forbidden arts" by those to afraid to seek to use it. After we conquer the Kingdom of Burgundine, he has promised to start teaching me its secrets.

My sister Mailou would die of envy if she knew that particular fact. Right now she is dreading the upcoming matches my father will be arranging when we return from Burgundine victorious. My father believes this campaign should end swiftly within months at most, mostly because Burgundine is unaware of our vast fleet that outsize's their own. My father commissioned to have it built in secret over the last five years. We should easily gain control of their coastline, and no help will come to them that way from their neighboring countries. To make matters even easier, their capital is conveniently right on the coast, just waiting for us to take her! Burgundine will be the first kingdom to fall that is across the Inner Sea from us.

I paused, letting a small smile grow on my face. It turned into another grimace as the queasiness came back taunting me with another wave. These thoughts helped to push away my dreams that had awoken me. Always it was my dreams that liked to tease me into a troubled mind. Ones of my family. Of soldiers dying before me on the battlefield….young children with their eyes blank…

I shook my head, instead thinking of my sisters to push away the ill gotten memories. Picturing them and my mother always helped to comfort me. My oldest sister, Emina, with her laughing eyes that she and I were the only ones to inherit from our mother. Her straight hair that was golden, but with a tinge of red in it that glowed in the sunlight. Emina had always been the one to smile and joke to lighten the mood. Always full of life. She was married now. Our father had married her off to the new king of a vassal kingdom to ensure loyalty three years ago. She had been twenty-one at the time, and her new husband a mere fifteen….

A boy whom had only been one year older than me at the time. A new king, afraid for his father had been butchered before him, and with an older wife, daughter of his enemy from his viewpoint, who would control him through our father's orders. Emina had cried the day she had married. I had not seen her since, but she had written to me, ensuring that she was alright.

I pictured her the last time I had seen her smile. Next the image of my next oldest sister before me, Rosalynn, whom our mother had named after her mother. Rosalynn was a shy and caring woman. One who was proper to the word, but underneath it there was a quiet rebellion. She had taken after our father with her eyes and hair, and along with his infamous temper. Rosalynn had been sent away by marriage too, only a year ago when I had returned from my campaign with father. He had married her off to another vassal to ensure loyalty, the crown prince of one of the first kingdoms we had taken.

Luckily for her, the crown prince was at the age of twenty-four, only three years older than her. She had written to Mailou not even after a month, professing love for her new husband. I had found that rather interesting, considering the crown prince had not been an entire visage for beauty. Yet I was glad that my sister had found happiness. Marriages for political purposes are a part of our heritage. _Yet my mother did not…he saved her according to the stories….yet why did she look at him with those eyes…_

Finally, I pictured Mailou, only one year older than me. We could have been twins from the way we acted and were raised together. We were the only ones in our family to understand each other, and to not be afraid of the words exchanged between us. For a moment, I did _wish_ that she could be here with me on this campaign….

There was a loud pound on the door, and a muffled voice calling out to me. "Prince Varick, your father requests your presence on the deck!"

I moaned, and rolled over to sit up on the edge of the bed. The temptation to shame myself came over me once more. The door opened, and a crewman stuck his head in. "Your Highness, are you alright?" He inquired formally. He was an older aged man, a sailor to the bone, considering the way he looked at me with dismissing eyes.

I stood up on shaky legs, nodding a confirmation. "You'll get your sea legs eventually, Your Highness," The man said with a trace of humor. Others who served in the military proper would not dare to say such a thing to me, but this man had no clue to the obvious. But I found myself grinning at his words. It was with a cautious speed that I proceeded up to the top deck to join my father.

Our ship is the lead ship, and located amongst the upper part of our fleet. The ships around us seemed to look like many clouds with their sails and an open sky above us. The salty air tugged at my hair as I walked up the steps to the upper deck. My father stood proudly, and still towering over me in height as he looked out at the endless sea before us. The sails flapped in the wind, but also the proud colors of gold and blue of Roelande.

My father's dark cape danced with the playful breeze. His dark eyes met my own, proud and powerful. He beckoned me to stand beside him. "Join me, Varick," He said with a smile. My father was the only in our family to call me by my actual name.

"Yes, father," I answered him with my own beginning of a smile. I grimaced as I pushed back another wave of queasiness. I turned my head away from him to look ahead. In the hazy distance, I could make out the dark outline of land….

….Burgundine….

"Burgundine will fall, and then the rest of the southern kingdoms like a crumbling building," My father stated simply, knowing where my thoughts were. Burgundine was the forefront, the first line of defense for the southern kingdoms, and one of their valuable leading nations. Once Burgundine falls, the rest would fall soon enough. "If we are lucky enough, King Derek may just surrender at the size of our fleet!" My father added with dark humor.

I let out a chuckle at the thought. But I had studied up on our enemy. My father, and myself included, both knew that King Derek was said to be a stubborn man. He would not go down without a fight, and if it was a fight he wanted….

…It was one he would be getting…

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading! Reviews are greatly appreciated! And any critiques! And a thank you to FlutePower, who pointed out a mistake to me. Reynold's eye color is dark brown, after his mother!


	4. Chapter 3: Ada's Fear & Failure

Afraid to Lose

Chapter Three:

Ada's Fear & Failure

* * *

"_Sometimes even to live is an act of courage."_ -Lucius Annaeus Seneca, _Letters to Lucilius_

Disclaimer: I do not own the Swan Princess.

* * *

If one was to ask me what I remember of the day that our capital city, our beautiful city that had always been home, was attacked by Roelande, I would say my pure and unadulterated fear. All I can remember clearly is that terror. It had started out only taking control of my ability to move quickly, but then I had the next symptom. I lost the ability to think clearly, for the terror drove my mind into a blurred panic. All I could think about was the safety of my family and of myself included. I did not want to die, especially my family! My beautiful home….our city…would it be burned up into ashes? I had seen the grim look in my father's eyes that had told me all I needed to know. This was not a battle we would be able to win!

My mother had ushered my grandmother and I, taking charge of the situation. "Ada, go quickly and pack only what you need," She ordered me sharply. The halls that had been so quiet before were now busy with the scurrying of servants and orders being shouted. My mother was already ordering people about, making sure that everything that needed to be done was accomplished. I slowly drifted into the chambers that had been mine since I was a child. The sun seemed to shine merrily through the windows of my chamber, ignorant of the upcoming fate of Burgundine. I stood in front of the window, numb as I looked down to the gardens, and beyond it the ocean. My eyes squinted at the sight of hundreds of white sails, looking like clouds upon the ocean, on the edge of the horizon.

_Oh no….God…._

I shut my eyes, and my hands clenched my skirts. To think only over an hour ago I had been worrying about the celebration of my eighteenth birthday….about a stupid ball…compared to…

"Ada!" I heard my brother's voice say sharply. How long had I been standing here for? A minute? An hour? I had no idea, but the passage of time seemed to have drawn to an ultimate end. I blinked at Enric, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill forth. Would this be the last time I saw him? Wait…was he not supposed to be with our father right now? "Mom said she sent you up here over fifteen minutes ago? What in the hell are you doing?" My brother raged on, his chocolate eyes flashing. There was now a sword on his side that had not been there before. I merely looked at my brother, still lost in the trembling and powerful fear. There was a look of realization on my brother's face. He walked over to me quickly and slapped me across the face.

My brother had not struck me since we were mere children fighting. I raised my hand to my cheek, feeling the biting pain spread. The pain and my brother's word woke me up from my numb panic. "This is not the time to let your fear control you!" Enric urged me. "I always hated the idea of ever having to say this….but you are a princess of Burgundine! Act like one and make our parents proud!" Enric had always been the one to slink off from royal responsibility, well, any responsibility really. To hear him that such words before now…I would have thought it impossible. Now here he was, acting every bit of a proper prince, living up to the expectations of our parents at long last.

"You're right, Enric," I said quickly. "Forgive me." The fear was still there, but I was able to push it back. Enric was right. Swiftly I moved to my wardrobe and grabbed a small bag. In less than two minutes I was able to toss in my most prized items. Several books and jewelry items that were of expensive make. Who knows what was going to happen, but money is always an essential. "I'm done," I said to Enric. He had waited impatiently for me to finish.

"Good," He said grimly. Enric pulled a smaller knife out of his pocket and thrusted it towards me. "Take this," He muttered. "Though I pray you don't need to use it." I stared at the knife. It was a simple thing, but of nice make. No jewels decorated it, but the blade was sharp. I read three words in scripted on the hilt of the blade. _Until The End_. Fitting. I put the blade back into its sheathe, and tucked into my own belt.

I looked up at my brother, only older than me by several hours. We were so different and had always bickered with one another. I threw my arms around him. To my surprise, he did not shove me away as he might have several hours ago. Instead he returned my hug swiftly and solidly, before he released me. "We must hurry," He told me. "Father awaits us."

* * *

I followed my brother as he walked quickly through the palace. People scurried and hurried past us, absorbed into their own frantic hurry. My brother and I were the same. I could hear people's shouts, frantic goodbyes, and the sobs of children. There was the loud marching sound of our soldiers preparing the defenses of the castle. Those in the city were told to evacuate for our defenses were mainly on the royal palace and the harbor. There was no wall surrounding our beloved city. Burgundine's capital had not been attacked in centuries, so why build one? My brother led me the council chamber. Inside the council chamber my father met with his advisors, and Reynold stood beside him as they examined a map of the city. They must be deciding upon the defenses I realized.

The council chamber is a simple enough room with the usual decorative banners and a long rectangular table that would usually sit all of the advisors. Today the chairs were pushed carelessly as my father talked with his men. I was distracted as my grandmother's strong, but bony arms were thrown around my neck. "What took you so long?" She demanded urgently. I patted my grandmother's back and tried to take in a breath. She had a very strong grip.

"Let her go, Mother," My mother said softly. "She needs to be able to breathe!" My grandmother released me, but I took her shaking hand into my own. My mother and grandmother both similarly had a bag thrown over their shoulder as I did.

"What's going on?" I whispered to my mother.

She glanced at my father, who had not broken away to speak to us yet. Enric stood beside me, his hand on his sword. "This is going to be your farewell," Enric answered for her. I looked up at his guarded eyes. "Father is going to send all three of you out of the city with an escort. From there you will flee over the southern border and seek refuge in Fischer." _Wait…that is where my mother was from…we were going to flee like cowards to another country?..._

"Your brother is right," My mother confessed with a grim expression. "That is my brother's kingdom. We will be safe there until we are able to return." I looked at my mother and brother's determined expressions, and my grandmother's face though fearful, held a certain resignation of what was happening. I forgot about my father's earlier reprimand. True, I was no warrior, and I was terrified…But I had a responsibility to my people! Just as my brothers do! If I were a boy then I would be able to fight!

"No!" I snapped. "I don't want to flee like a coward!"

"I don't want you to be in danger," My father's voice interceded kindly. My father walked over to us with Reynold beside him. "I only have a moment to spare, Ada. Don't let us waste it."

I nodded my head silently, watching as my mother kissed my father as if her life depended on it. He whispered something into her ear, and she let him go. My father turned to my grandmother, while I found myself facing Reynold. My big brother. My role-model.

"Keep the idiot alive for me, will you?" I asked in a half-joke. "I want to be able to turn him into a squirrel still someday."

"I heard that," Enric growled next to me. Both of my brothers looked at me, and I at them. There was a silent truth that passed between us three then. _That this may be the last time we ever saw each other_. Somehow all three of us embraced each other with our heads touching each others.

"I'll keep him safe," Reynold promised in a tight voice.

"No, I'll keep him safe," Enric interrupted in a false cheery voice. "There's no way I'll ever be stuck with being king!"

I laughed much more loudly than I needed to, stepping away from my brothers. My mother and grandmother took their turn to say goodbye, as I found myself doing the same with my father. I was the only child to have his dark blue eyes. They gazed at me now with love and determination. I flung myself into my father's open arms, holding down the need to cry. I would not be weak! "Stay safe," My father whispered into my ear. "Protect your mom and grandmother. And promise me you won't do anything stupid."

"I promise, dad," I said weakly into his neck. Would this be the last time I saw him? My father managed to detangle me from his arms, touching me on the cheek before he stepped away. My father looked solemnly at my mom, grandmother, and me. He turned around without another word, fleeing out of the room with quick strides. Reynold gave me a small smile before following our father. Enric paused, looking at three of us with hesitation, before he followed suite as well.

A small sob escaped from my grandmother. "Come," My mother said, beckoning us to follow her. Once more I took a hold of my grandmother's hand, but also because my hand now trembled violently as well.

* * *

My mother led us to the stables where three horses already awaited for us. There was a small escort of only five men. They needed all the men they could have here. Five would be enough for fleeing over the border. The enemy would be too busy decimating our beloved city. My mother and grandmother had already mounted, as I had my foot in the stirrup raising myself up. Suddenly there was a loud whistling in the air and the sound of something large hitting the stone walls of the palace. There were the shouts and screams of men. The sounds startled the horses, causing them to rear up. I was tossed from my house, somehow miraculously not getting my foot stuck in the stirrup. The breath was knocked out of me when I hit a large pile of hay. The whistling sound turned to that of thunder and timber crashing as one came through the roof of the stables.

I rolled over out of hay, covering my mouth as smoke immediately went up in the stables. The object was a massive burning ball, probably made from rock and hay, covered with flammables to make the heat as strong as it was. The stables had caught on fire! "Mom! Grandmother!" I yelled, unable to see anything through the smoke. Some of it got into my lungs, making me cough vigorously. My eyes burned as I tried to peer into the smoke. I needed to get out of here and soon, but not without my mom and grandmother!

I walked around the burning object, peering through the smoke for them. The object had hit three of the guards. The stink of burning skin wafted into the smoggy air. Two of the other men I could make out under some of the rafters that had come crashing down. The whiny of horses in their stables and the several that were still alive from the guards filled the air with their sheer panic and fear. The fear slithered at me, but I kept it down as much as I could. It was difficult to breath! My feet tripped over something, making me look down. My eyes widened in horror as I saw it was my grandmother's arm. The rest of her was underneath a burning beam.

…_Oh god…No!...No!...No!..._

"Grandmother!" I shrieked, but I knew there was nothing to be done for her. The smoke got back into my lungs, making me go into another coughing fit. Then I felt a strong hand on my arm, pulling me along. I looked up with blurred eyes to see the smoke stained face of my mother. She was alive! My mother dragged me out from the burning stables. When we staggered onto the courtyard, myself leaning on her for the most part, was into a scene of chaos.

Men were attempting to put out the fires, and others were working on the catapults with our own large stones to toss back at their ships. There was smoke gathering on the other side of the wall, meaning parts to the city must have already caught afire. The sun had already started to lower in the sky, but the burning of the projectiles into the air almost made it feel like it was daylight. I gaped up at the sky in a fascinated revulsion at the burning objects. It was like seeing many comets coming down from the heavens.

"Ada!" My mother called weakly with a short breath. Both of us were still attempting to breath after taking in all that smoke. "We need to get out of here!"

"How?" I asked her with a heavy breathe. "We have no horses now…and grandmother…" I stifled a sob in my throat.

"Be brave, Ada!" My mother told me with flashing eyes. If only I could be as strong as her. "There is always a way. We will walk if we have too!"

"Your Majesties!" A soldier cried, finally noticing us amongst the chaos. "What are you doing out here?"

"We were supposed to flee by horse," My mother managed to state to the soldier. She freed herself from my grasp, standing tall. The soldier did not say a word for the stables were fully ablaze right now. Another minute in there and we would have been…The screeches of the horses came from the stables, making me wince at the sound. None of them came rushing out from where they were all trapped inside.

"There's no time now!" The soldier yelled at us. His helmet covered most of his face, but I saw light hazel eyes on a young face. "Get down into the cellar with the other women and children!" My mother grabbed my arm, pulling me alongside her frantically. I turned back to thank the soldier, but the loud crashing of one the fiery balls shuddered the ground feet behind us. The soldier had been taken out like a pancake. I felt bile rise to the top of my throat. The terror took over me now.

* * *

Somehow we managed to make it down into the cellar. Together my mother and I had huddled with the other women and children, noble and servant alike. Some had managed to make it out of the palace, but there were at least forty of us down there. We could hear the sounds of the battle and men's screams of agony. The walls and ceiling would shake every time one of the fiery balls hit the palace. I have no idea how long we were down there for, but it felt like an eternity. Eventually the shaking and the sound stopped, releasing us into an even worse suspenseful silence. I had cried into my mother's shoulder until I had no more tears to shed. My mother did not shed one tear, at least none that I saw. _My grandmother…oh god… What was happening up there? What was going to become of us? What of my father and brothers? _

Eventually an older woman, a servant by her dress, approached my mother. "Your Majesty?" She inquired roughly.

My mother must have been in shock as I was, but she replied unwaveringly. "Yes?"

"Have you given any thoughts about avoiding being captured?" The older woman asked. Her dark eyes examined us both shrewdly.

"We were supposed to flee by horse-" My mother began to say.

"But you didn't, no offense meant, Your Majesty," The woman interrupted her boldly. "I suggest we have you switch clothing with two women around your ages. Try to pass them off as you."

"I can't ask someone to do that for me," My mother told her matter-of-factly. "I will face my duty as a queen."

"I wasn't asking you," The older woman told her sharply. "Some of other women and I talked about it. If the king dies and his sons, it will only be you and Princess Adalaide."

Normally my mother would never have allowed such commanding behavior over her, but this was not a normal moment. In fact my mother gave her a combined look of horror and gratefulness. I realized it, even in my haze of fear. Two women would be risking their lives for us…execution…imprisonment…

"Do they know what they are doing?" My mother asked quietly.

"Yes, Your Majesty," One woman in fine dress said stepping forward. I recognized her instantly from court. She was the wife of one my father's advisors and around my mother's age.

"As do I," Another woman said stepping forward. She had the rough clothing of a servant girl and appeared to be close to my age. A noble woman and servant girl, both from different worlds, but risking their lives for my mother and I. I stared at them in shock. Who would have thought to find such loyalty not on the battlefield, but in a cellar full of frightened women and children?

"Well, you better change," The older woman said simply. "Soon enough they'll be sending someone down here."

My mother dipped her head in agreement. "How can I ever thank you for doing this?" She asked seriously, looking at the three different women. If only I could be as strong as her.

"Live," The noble woman told her. "No matter what happens, live for Burgundine. For us."

* * *

A/N: Here is the newest chapter! I planned to make it longer, but I am cruel with cliff hangers! Thanks for reading and please review!


	5. Chapter 4: Varick's Victory,Yet Variance

Afraid to Lose

Chapter Four:

Varick's Victory, Yet Variance

* * *

"_Self-acceptance comes from meeting life's challenges vigorously. Don't numb yourself to your trials and difficulties, nor build mental walls to exclude pain from your life. You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously. You will find peace not in __denial__, but in victory.__"_ –J. Donald Walters

Disclaimer: I do not own the Swan Princess.

* * *

The battle had begun when the sun had started to fall down below the waves. This was the first time I had participated in a naval attack. I stood beside my father, trying to hold down the urge to vomit the entire time. The feeling of the deck swaying beneath me set my stomach on the edge. We had many catapults within our fleet, which we used to bombard the walls of their castle. The rest of the city surrounding their palace had no walls or defenses. Burgundine had not been attacked in centuries, but their lack of preparation was foolish I thought.

One of the first things we took out was their ships in their harbor. No messages would be sent by ship to the rest of their fleet that was scattered along their coastline. They were on their own. My father had stood tall and proud as he had watched the assault intently. I will never forget the sight of hundreds of flaming boulders hurling through the darkening sky. The large boulders were poured with a flammable liquid and then launched into the air by our catapults. The sounds of battle and of our barrage of their city echoed through the night air. I could make out the small figures of men on their wall around the castle, attempting to shoot arrows and using their own catapults against our fleet. Our numbers were great, while theirs were not. The battle lasted through the night, but at the edge of the breaking dawn it was over. My father had been right. The conquest of Burgundine would be an easy task.

Their docks had not been entirely destroyed, intentionally of course on our part. We still wanted to be able to use them naturally. A few ships were sent to unboard first with our soldiers. My father and I waited on our lead ship until the flag would be raised. When the flag of Roelande flies above the castle would be the sign for our safe entry. It means that the city and the castle are now under our control. This process took until the passing of midday until the brilliant colors of red and white, my nation's flag, flew proudly above the castle. My father gave the usual orders that any fires would be put out by our soldiers and that those of the city should have the order put out to stay in orders for the time being.

Their capital was small compared to ours, but as I strode down the main road up to the castle with my father from the docks I could tell it had been a fine city. The first commander had reported to us of King Derek's capture along with that of his two sons. The rest of their royal family had not been captured yet, but apparently much of their nobility of their court had fled the city. King Derek had given an order for an evacuation before our assault had started.

* * *

The sun was beating down on us harshly as my father and I strolled into the main courtyard of their castle. Smoke rose in the air and our soldiers had already started to clear out the bodies that were scattered along the ramparts of the walls and the courtyard. There were groups of captured soldiers sitting throughout the courtyard with our own soldiers hovering around them. Our troops swarmed the city and the castle in numbers. My father walked up the steps towards the main doors of the castle, before turning around to look at the scene before him. He turned towards me with a victorious gaze. I dipped my head in acknowledgement. My attention was briefly centered on a new crowd of prisoners being ushered into the courtyard across from me. It was a group of silent women and crying children. They were a mix of nobility and servant alike. Apparently they had not fled in time and most likely had taken shelter beneath their castle in the basements I thought.

"Bring King Derek and the two princes to me," My father ordered a nearby captain. The captain bowed and scurried across the courtyard to three men who were guarded alone. "Face-to-face at last," My father murmured under his breath.

"Father?" I asked curiously.

He ignored me as his attention was centered on the three men who were dragged before us. They were forced to kneel at the base of the stairs below us. All three of them were grimy and stank of battle, unlike my father and I. I observed the oldest of the three who had to be King Derek. His armor had blood spattered across it and dirt marred his white face. Dark blue eyes burned at my father, but he gave off an air of calm. The next I assumed to be the Crown Prince Reynold for he had the looks of an older brother. His jaw was set on a hard line, but his dark chocolate eyes were defiant as they gazed at us. His younger brother, Prince Enrik, had the same eyes, but they were flames of wrath as they glared at us. The attention of all of those in the courtyard was fixated on us.

"King Derek," My father began loudly. King Derek stared up at him without blinking. "You and your men fought nobly, but your city is now mine. Give your official surrender and in turn I assure this….transition for Burgundine will be made as easy as possible."

"Transition?..." King Derek echoed him hollowly. King Derek's eyes looked around in disbelief. "Your idea of a "transition" is abhorrent. You attacked a peaceful nation….you are nothing more than a tyrannical conqueror."

I felt the furious anger swell within me. How dare he speak to my father in such way! I stalked swiftly the few steps down the stairs and smacked King Derek across the face. The two princes tried to lunge forward to me, but both were pushed back down by the soldiers who stood behind them. "Control yourself, Varick," My father warned me. I bowed towards him and rejoined him at his side. I could feel the daggers from their eyes as I walked up the stairs. "You should have chosen your words more carefully, King Derek." My father taunted him with a cold smile. "Perhaps you should have thought of your people." King Derek lurched forward, but was pushed back down by the soldier behind him.

Suddenly my father's attention was drawn to women dragged through the courtyard towards us. They were both dressed in fine clothes. They had to be Queen Lida and Princess Adalaide, but where was the Mother Queen Uberta? I noticed a quick look of confusion on the three royal men of Burgundine that disappeared promptly. Both of the women were not remarkable in appearance, but the older woman who had to be Queen Lida carried herself with an air of dignity. Princess Adalaide trembled like a leaf from terror. My father walked down the steps until he stood before the two women. His broad shoulders started to shake until he finally let out a bellowing laugh of amusement. He whirled around to face King Derek, but he still faced me half-way. "Did you really think you could fool me?" He said rhetorically. There was an icy smile on his face that I recognized and knew to be apprehensive of.

I frowned, but then realized what the brief look of confusion had been on King Derek's and his sons' faces. "They are long gone from here!" Prince Enrik spat out with a victorious grin. "You were foolish enough to fall for their decoys. They are already over the border and beyond your grasp!" My father's eyes narrowed as he stared down at the youngest prince. What a fool, I thought. My father is a very intelligent man, but like me has a short temper.

"No….I think not," My father said quietly. "They are here…somewhere…and they will be found." Prince Enrik's eyes hardened as he looked away. "But know this, I am not a man to be fooled," My father continued. His face turned grim as he turned to look back towards the two women. "I do not fault you for your loyalty, but a price must be paid." The older woman gaped at him as she realized the meaning of his words. Fear is a powerful tool and one my father knew to use well. A bright orange light started to come from my father hands. I turned my eyes away, but could still hear the two screams that were cut short.

I gazed back to see their two sizzling corpses lying on the ground. An audible gasp of horror went throughout the courtyard. The rancid smell of burnt flesh permeated the tense air. King Derek and his sons held a look of disbelief as they looked at the remains of the two women. I had become used to seeing death, but sometimes….we go out so simply….one little snuff of the flame….

Those two women had been…._innocent_….

But an example must be made.

* * *

"Varick, tell me, how would you proceed?" My father asked me directly, turning towards me nonchalantly. As if he had not just executed two women. I looked over to see the challenging test in his serious eyes. Every moment he was testing me. Pushing and prodding in constant training….for one day I would be on his throne. My attention drifted from him and back to the royal prisoners. I wondered where the rest of their family was. Perhaps they had escaped from the city, but it seemed unlikely. Prince Enrik's false bravado had been for naught. All three of them watched me with a deadly intention, holding in their words as they awaited their fates.

My father had taught me that fear is a powerful and useful tool. In order to maintain stable control of Burgundine in the future, it would be much more efficient to have one of their own in power. The people would follow them and there would be decreased risk of rebellion. An official surrender from King Derek would have been nice, but that was not going to happen from him willingly. Yet whoever we eventually put in charge must be in fear and respect of us, lest they attempt to defy us. My father had done this many times with kingdoms we had conquered in the north. If we left one of our own, reassuringly loyal, in charge the people had struggled and refused our authority for much longer. Stable and swift control that is attained quickly is the key. We wanted to have minimal hatred from the common people in general. In fact in many kingdoms we treated them better than the previous monarchies had. All followed our laws and especially if we left those from before in charge. They were nothing but vassals to a growing empire.

"Execute King Derek as an example," I answered him after my careful consideration. "Prince Enrik should be sent to Roelande as our….guest and the rest of their family when they are found." I gazed back at my father and my chest swelled as I saw a brief flicker of approval in his eyes. The feeling disappeared in surprise at his next words.

"A wise recommendation," My father began to drawl. A frozen smile grew back on his face as he looked down at King Derek. King Derek held himself stoically, but there was an intense challenge still in his eyes when they met my father's. Even now, though he was our prisoner, he was not defeated. "But today is your lucky day, King Derek." My father looked towards the two princes. Prince Reynold looked at my father with a calm resignation. His dark brown eyes revealed nothing, but his brothers were still flames of defiance and fury. I had grown used to both these kinds of gazes. There was the usual hatred, fear, defiance, and that of utter defeat. Yet I was glad that the attention of all three were now concentrated upon my father.

"King Derek, you will be sent to Roelande as our…guest," My father intoned with relish. I halted at my father's words. He had never done this before; usually it was the current leader we executed. "Prince Reynold shall be executed as an example, while Prince Enrik shall be left here under supervision. When he is thought to be….ready, he shall become king."

"No!" King Derek roared, finally speaking again. He struggled against the soldier who kept him from rising. This was unusual for my father. My choice had been the more logical one. This just seemed…._more cruel_….

"You can't do this!" He exclaimed violently as he fell back down to his knees. The proud eyes now held a plea for mercy. A loud gasp and cries of protest went throughout the prisoners. My father had a trace of a smirk as he saw King Derek's weakness. I had never particularly enjoyed such scenes, but this was the first time I felt peculiar knots in my stomach. I had never seen my father….enjoy such cruelty. Usually he did what had to be done with a cold distance. I looked over to see the shocked expression on Prince Reynold's face. "Kill me instead!" King Derek continued desperately, "But not my son!" Prince Enrik's eyes were aflame as never before. If his eyes were weapons my father would be dead on his feet.

"You're needed, father," Prince Enrik interrupted him quietly. They exchanged a brief look between each other. "I can finally be useful," Prince Enrik added with a grim shadow of a smile. "Execute me," He said with his attention on my father. "I'm not the heir, but a useless second son. Our people need Reynold and my father. Kill me."

I saw admiration enter my father's face. He tilted his head as he studied Prince Enrik. His plea had been logical and the cold truth, unlike the pathetic pleas of King Derek. "How I would envy you for such a second son, King Derek," My father murmured under his breath. I must have been the only one to hear his words for they had been the barest of whispers. I felt the familiar prickle in my chest. I am the only son, most beloved by my father, but he would have had her die for another….if not for…

"My decision stands." My father announced for all to hear. The cries rose from the prisoners. The soldier behind Prince Reynold pushed him forwards, sending him several feet forwards in front of his father and brother. He pulled himself back up to his knees. My father looked directly at me. Another test. I nodded and walked down the few steps to Prince Reynold. His face did not leave mine as I pulled out my blade. The blade felt heavy in my hand. Strangely Prince Reynold eyes were at peace and not enticed with fear as I had seen those facing their deaths before hold.

I swallowed a hard ball in my throat. "Do you have anything to say?" I asked him in a low tone. It may be his execution, but there were still courtesies to be respected.

"Tell…." He started to whisper, but faltered. A deep breath was taken and exhaled as he replied without faltering. "Tell Ada that she has to help our mouse….and to be strong. Tell my mother I love her." I nodded and memorized his message. The mouse part was clearly a code for something else, but that I could wonder about later. Prince Reynold turned his head to look back at his father and brother. There were tears in King Derek's eyes. A pathetic display of weakness, I thought silently. He turned back to me and bowed his head. I would give him a clean death, honorable and painless as possible. I walked behind him and placed the tip of my blade at the base of his neck. I took a sharp breath of in and plunged the blade in.

This was the first time I had executed anyone.

A bellow of raw pain screamed in the air coming from King Derek. There were screams and cries coming from the prisoners. I closed my eyes as I pulled my blade out. I opened my eyes to a blade stained with sanguine blood. Prince Reynold's body collapsed over to one side. Blood pooled around his body, dripping down the steps. I looked over to see the pleased look on my father's noble face. I had done well.

"I'll kill you!" King Derek screamed as he struggled against two soldiers. Prince Enrik merely focused his pale face on his brother's corpse with blank eyes. I thought of my mother and sisters in that moment…._What if…?_

I bowed towards my father. "Take King Derek to the lead ship," My father barked at the nearest captain. The man bowed towards my father immediately. "Is their prison secure?"

"Yes, Your Majesty," The captain replied. He was a face I had seen before. A middle-aged man with sky blue eyes. He had been on the lead ship.

"Then have Prince Enrik escorted down there," My father added promptly.

"It will be done, Your Majesty," The captain responded with another bow. The soldiers grasped both men between two each. King Derek was still yelling like a rabid animal. My father and I watched briefly as they were dragged away. I looked down at my blade, where blood still dripped off of its deadly point. The easy part was over….for the most difficult to come would be the complete annexation of Burgundine.

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A/N: Sorry for the lack of updates. School and life, you know. Anyways, here's the newest chapter! Thanks for reading and please review!


	6. Chapter 5: Ada's Anguish

Afraid to Lose

Chapter Five:

Ada's Anguish

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"_If you suppress grief too much, it can well redouble." _-Moliere

Disclaimer: I do not own the Swan Princess.

* * *

He is always used to tease me about being a bookworm. There would be a sparkle in his dark brown eyes as he would banter playfully, saying I would one day go blind from reading too much. There was one quotation I recall that would become something I lived by for months to come. "_We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey."_ I remember reading it in some book by a noted philosopher. The following day that the siege for my home had started was forever engrained in my heart. The day that my family would never be the same again or the fate of our kingdom as well. The people of Burgundine all would remember this day hence forth.

My grip on my mother's hand was one of iron clad strength. Soldiers had come into the basement, yelling for us to come out, ushering us all forward. There was some who cried, but there was mainly a prevailing silence of dread that had overtaken us. Before we had exited the basement the soldiers searched amongst us…..for my mother and I. The woman had been right that they would look for us. The noble woman and the servant girl who had switched clothes with my mother and I stepped forward. There was fear in their eyes. My heart did a double take for them. The soldiers took them away from the rest of us.

We had stumbled out into the main courtyard to join the rest of our people. There were groups of our soldiers who had been captured, but many were bodies that were bodies that had already been pushed aside. It was early morning, but the smell of burning fire perfumed the air. There was a gray smog in the air, no doubt from parts of the city that must have caught aflame. I caught the sight of a new flag fluttering above our castle….one in the colors of red and white. The colors of Roelande. I felt a simmering of intense hatred course through me, something I had never felt before. Such hatred…..

My attention was instantly centered on five figures at the stairs of the main entrance to the castle. My heart stopped as I immediately recognized the three figures that were bound and kneeling at the base of the stairs. Six enemy soldiers hovered right behind them, but it was the two figures that stood towering above them on the stairs that made my eyes widen. It had to be _them_. The ones responsible for all of this. Who were they….generals perhaps? One of them could not possibly be….

"King Rothbart," I heard my mother murmur in my ear. "That's him….then the other must be his…."

Son, I thought silently in agreement. The group had halted at the edge of the courtyard and was ordered to halt there. From this distance across the courtyard from the steps, I could make out the imposing height of the man who was King Rothbart. He had no helmet on his head, which allowed a sight of flaming orange-red hair that fell to the base of his neck. It surrounded the crown of his head for he was mainly bald on the top of it. He had a mane of a mustache and facial hair; remind me rather of an animal. His armor was golden, glinting in the morning light, and a long, red cape that swept down to his feet. He looked perfectly untouched, unlike the beaten sight of my father and brothers. I could make out little of the smaller figure next to him. The man beside him was shorter, but still of a grander height then my father or brothers. He had a helmet on, so I could make nothing of his face. Yet his armor, unlike his fathers, was that of a dark grey rimmed with some gold on parts. He wore no cape as King Rothbart did. Suddenly the man in the dark grey armor stormed down the steps and slapped my father across the face. My mother squeezed my hand as I made a motion to move forward.

The attention of all those gathered was centered as the two women disguised were dragged before King Rothbart. I held my breath. _Oh God….what have they done for us?_ The words that were exchanged could not be heard from this distance, but everyone did hear the loud bellow of laughter. King Rothbart was letting out a large bout of laughter that was traced with dark amusement. A shiver ran up my spine at the sound of it. Words were exchanged between my family and that evil man. He turned back to those two women and then…..

And then….

A hideous orange light that blinded all of us came from his hands. It went straight at the two women whose screams were cut short. All of that was left of them was two sizzling corpses. The smell of their burned flesh scented the air. I felt my stomach want to empty itself, but somehow the urge was kept down. My hand had gone to mouth to keep back a scream of horror. The crowd had gasped and cried. Everyone here knew what we looked like….except for the enemy. Those two women and our people had let them walk to their deaths knowingly. _Oh God….god….that should have been me….but I did not want to die!_

King Rothbart turned back towards my father and brother. Several minutes passed as they spoke to each other. The man with the helmet on was included from the looks of it. I felt sick to my stomach. Everything was surreal….as if any moment I would wake up from this terrible nightmare. At long last King Rothbart spoke loud enough for all of us to hear. His words sent lightening horror through me. "King Derek, you will be sent to Roelande as our….guest. Prince Reynold shall be executed as an example, while Prince Enrik shall be left here under supervision. When he is thought to be….ready, he shall become king."

My mother's grip on my hand was so that I could no longer feel my own hand. I looked at her face to see the blood gone from it. There was determination in her eyes though that warned me to keep silent. "No!" My father roared. He struggled against a soldier who kept him from standing. "You can't do this!" The crowd gasped and let out cries of protest. My screams stayed blocked in my throat. "Kill me instead" My father continued with a plea. I had never seen him beg before, but he would do anything for us. "But not my son!" There was a silence as I saw Enrik spoke. I could not hear his words, but strained my ears to do so. The whole crowd did.

"My decision stands," King Rothbart proclaimed after a minute. The crowd in the courtyard cried loudly as never before. A scream of denial at last fell from my lips, but my mother put a hand over my mouth to silence me. The man in the grey armor with the helmet walked down the steps towards Reynold. The guard behind him pushed him forwards roughly, causing him to fall down on his knees. My brother pulled himself back on his knees. The man in grey armor pulled out his sword and said something to him. Reynold said something in return and the man stepped behind him. He placed the tip of his blade at the base of his neck….

I closed my eyes.

The first thing I heard were the screams of those around me, but the most audible was that of my own father. He let bellow of raw pain that my own heart sang to. I was in shock and refused to open my eyes….to see…..to see….

"I'll kill you!" I heard my father scream violently. My mother beside me at long last expressed her terrible pain. She exploded into a horrible fit of sobs. I had never heard her cry a day in my life.

* * *

It seemed an eternity before the sounds of the crowd died away. I did not open my eyes once, until I heard the sound of my mother's voice. She had ceased to cry sometime ago. "Ada, open your eyes," She urged me. I did not do so until she shook my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see her tear-stained face and puffy eyes. I would not cry…..there was nothing left for me to use….I felt empty. As an empty chasm. _Reynold….grandmother…..Oh God…No….No….No…._

The one thing I did feel was a hatred so sweet and bitter. It was as nothing I had ever felt before, but I could feel it bring warmth to my veins. It kept my heart beating. I would kill them for this. King Rothbart and the man in the grey armor….his son most likely….I will kill them. No matter how long it took. Someday I will destroy them for what they have done to my people. And to my family.

I avoided looking at the front steps, but it was too late when I had first opened my eyes. There was a large pool of blood on the stairs. They had already taken…..I turned to face my mother. There was calmness in her eyes, a detachment that I could not understand. "We must find a way to escape," She whispered to me. "We can't let those women or Reynold have died for nothing!" There was no sight of Enrik or my father. What had they done with them?

Inside I agreed with her, but I was incapable of speech or thinking really. We stood there in the courtyard before the soldiers started to interview each person individually. From there we were sorted into two different crowds. They seemed to be sorting us by those they thought to be nobility and others servants. My mother….my mother was in the dress of a noble, while I was in the garb of a servant. One of the soldiers came to us with another man beside. The other man was dressed as a guard, but held a book and quill in his hand. He had been taking down the names of every single person. "Name?" He asked my mother. His eyes were attentive as he looked at my mother and me. We were still holding hands. "Sara," She replied stiffly. That had been the name of the noble woman who had….who had…

"Of where?" The man inquired. "You are nobility, correct?"

"Yes," My mother answered him quietly. "Of Dresden."

The man scribbled something down his book. He eyed me suspiciously. "Who's the girl?"

"My servant," My mother replied shortly. "I refuse to be parted from her!"

"Name?" The man asked me, ignoring my mother.

"Emilie," I managed to choke out. The name had come unsought of in my head, but it was ironic. The man clearly did not what it meant….but I did from all those years of reading. It meant rival. Fitting really.

"Take her to be with the others," The man said to the other soldier. The soldier moved forward and grabbed my mother by her forearm. She struggled against him and held to my hand.

I held on to her desperately. _They would not separate us!_ Even then I could not cry. I was still in too much shock, but I did fight to not bed separated from her. "No!" My mother shrieked at last.  
"No!" She fell apart then as they dragged her away from me. The man looked at me as an untroubled gaze.

"Join the others," He commanded simply, gesturing towards the forming crowds of those separated out as servants. I went over to the edge of the group without a word. Everyone in the group was silent with the occasional person crying here and there. A woman standing next to me looked at me on occasion. It took me several minutes to realize that everyone in the group would eye me every few seconds before looking away. They did not want to draw attention to themselves staring at me. _They know who I am….but that was only natural. They worked here and half the city knows my face._

The woman I had first noticed was of middle-age. Her dark hair was frizzy and she looked worse for the wear. I am sure I looked no better. She gave me a tiny smile and put a hand my shoulder. There was a comforting squeeze before she removed her hand. Normally she never would have dared to touch me, but now….anything was possible. "We know who you are," She whispered to me. "I'm sure they'll let us go home into the city. When they do, we'll help you…..Your Highness."

I gazed with dead eyes into the hopeful eyes of the woman before. What was the point? Yet I remembered the sight of my grandmother's body underneath a fiery beam and my brother's blood staining the steps of my home. The hatred flowed within me and brought life back to my heart once more. For them I would find revenge. For Burgundine. Those two women had naught died for nothing!

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A/N: Here's a new chapter and I know it's short. Thanks for reading and please review. The quotation that Ada thinks of in the beginning of the chapter is from Kenji Miyazawa.


	7. Chapter 6: Varick's Task

Afraid to Lose

Chapter Six:

Varick's Task

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"_You do not wake up one morning a bad person. It happens by a thousand tiny surrenders of self-respect to self-interest."_ -Robert Brault

Disclaimer: I do not own the Swan Princess.

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We had complete control of the capital within several days. If the rest of the campaign was as easy as it was to take over Burgundine's capital, we would be home by the end's month, I thought to myself more than once. It was almost pathetic how easy it had been to take over their capital. King Derek was now a prisoner aboard our fleet and far from the reaches of any possibility for help. Soon enough he would be sent over the Inner Sea and will be held in our capital. There next several days following Prince Reynold's execution were spent consolidating our power over the capital. Business would go about as usual for the citizens, but there was a curfew and a strict enforcement of it. Any signs of rebellion were stamped out harshly and quickly. Any nobility that had been captured were to swear an oath of allegiance to my father and the royal family of Roelande. If they did not comply, they were executed without a second thought. This included the women and children as well, and if one from their family refused….they would all be sent before the sword.

It is only through examples, and though the justice may be harsh, that people will learn to fear and respect the law. That is what my father has taught me. There was still the rest of the nation to conquer and to capture any nobility or those of power. Once they swore their loyalty to us and when we are secure in our position, they may go back to their lives. Albeit not all will be in the same positions and offices as before, but they would be alive and grateful. I had seen many killed in battle and executed before. I had only a year ago accompanied my father on a campaign much like this one. Yet Prince Reynold had been the first man I had executed. I have killed in battle before and sometimes the faces of those I had killed would haunt me. This was different though. Each night that I closed my eyes to sleep, it was his that haunted me the most. I have not slept will since his execution. The room I had taken over apparently had belonged to him as well. The room had been simple, but reflected the tastes of the man I had killed. After the first night, I had moved to another room in a wing that was for guests. My father stayed in the Royal Wing and in the very room that had belonged to the now ousted King Derek.

My father and I were constantly in meetings and attending to the business that accompanies the aspects of taking over another country. My father is the kind of leader who does not have his commanders do all of the work for him. Instead, my father exhausts himself by being involved and knowing every minute detail. Everything is reported directly to him. We had taken over what seemed to be the old council room for King Derek. The room was decorated with wall tapestries and there was one long, rectangular table in the room with chairs around it. A banner with the emblem of my nation now hung in the place where Burgundine's had been before. It would never fly again over their Capital either. The strain was beginning to show on my father for we had found no sign of Queen Lida or Princess Adalaide. It seemed that they had perhaps well escaped from the Capital. The city was being torn apart in the search for them, but there was yet to be any sign of them. My father sat at the head of the table, nodding with a deep frown as a commander read off a report to them. We would have to make a move on the rest of the country soon. The rest of the table was filled with the high-ranking leaders of our military and several advisors that were hand-picked by my father.

A low-ranking military officer came into the chamber that was already bustling with messengers coming in and out of the room. He bowed towards my father and me. I was sitting to the right of my father on the long side of the table. After my father nodded his head, the man approached him and whispered something to him. A cold smile grew on my father's face. Something good had happened for he looked pleased indeed. "I have news," He proclaimed to the room. Everyone halted in their business and played rapt attention to my father. "Queen Lida has been captured!" The room burst into applause and sounds of jubilance at my father's news. If she had been caught, where was the princess? My father noticed my questioning gaze. "Queen Lida was caught disguised amongst the captured nobles. Apparently their own are not entirely loyal as she thought," He revealed quietly in a voice traced with dark amusement. "Betrayal is so easy when death hangs over one's head," He added with a chuckle. I smiled in amusement as well. People would do anything to avoid the possibility of death, especially of their beloved ones.

"Shall we go see her?" He asked me as he stood up from the table. The rest of the rose as he did and I followed suit.

"If it pleases you, father," I replied sincerely. He gave me a thin smile in return.

* * *

Queen Lida had been tossed in a cell in the prison below the palace she called home. The prison also housed her youngest son, who was being held only several doors down from her cell. Others who were waiting to die were also being held here. The nobles who had sworn allegiance had been given chambers in the palace, but were kept under constant guard. A guard let my father and me into the small cell. It was dank and spoke of years of filth and degradation. My father kept the look of disgust from his face. The woman before us wore a torn up dress that was once of fine make and was covered in grim, but underneath it all she was still quite beautiful.

Queen Lida had skin the color of the lightest beach sand and jet-black hair that ran in many curls. Her hair was in frenzy though from the lack of care for several days. She had a fine face and figure. Her chocolate eyes blazed at the sight of my father and me, but her face spoke of exhaustion. She looked well, all things considered, for a woman around my mother's age. "Queen Lida," My father greeted her with an indifferent smile. He did not mock her as he had her husband, but instead treated her with the indifference that he usually did with our enemies. "I'm so glad to see that you're alive."

"I doubt that," She replied icily with a toss of her head. "I saw you have my son murdered! I was there…you….you…._bastard!"_ She spat out with venom that almost made me take step back. It was not becoming to hear such language from a woman, but the look on her face spoke of murderous hatred. She gave me the barest of glances, but dismissed me as if….if she did not recognize me as her son's killer. I realized that she must not have seen my face for I had been wearing a helmet at the time. Somehow, I was slightly startled at the thought I was glad she did not recognize me. I also realized she had dismissed me for I seemed be a young boy in her eyes, around the same age as her own children. That thought particularly drove home and made my ego flare up at the thought.

"But your husband and younger son live," My father replied shortly. "Perhaps your daughter does as well. Tell me…where is she?"

"I don't know!" Queen Lida spat in rage. "Even if I did, do you think I would betray my own daughter?"

My father eyed her with annoyance. "I had hoped you would tell me," He said thinly. "Where is your mother-in-law, the Mother Queen Uberta?"

There was a flash of raw pain on Queen Lida's face at the mention of her mother-in-law. "She's dead," She revealed flatly. My father and I both knew that she was not lying about this. Yet about her daughter's location….she was.

"I thank you for your honesty," My father said to her with a tone of warning, "But you're lying about your daughter's whereabouts. I implore you to tell me now, or otherwise…."

"You'll torture me?" Queen Lida said in disbelief. "You wouldn't dare!" The realization entered her face as she looked at my father and then me. "I won't tell you anything!" She retorted wrathfully. The fear was dawning on her face like a rising sun.

"You will," My father promised her grimly. "They always do." He turned to leave the cell and I followed him silently. My father halted in the hallway as several soldiers, who specialized in integrations, prepared to enter the room. They bowed towards my father. "Keep her alive," He ordered them indifferently. "Do try to avoid any permanent damage as well."

"Yes, Your Majesty," The soldiers repeated in unison. They entered the cell, which was closed by the guard with an ominous bang.

"Come, Varick," My father called me as he exited the prison without another word.

* * *

My father walked on the northern wall of the palace, surveying our fleet that was spread out before us and the view of the city. I walked beside him waiting for him to speak. He had brought me out here for a reason, not merely to go on some walk. In the last campaign, I had been by his side constantly and given no command of my own. This time I aspired for a command of my own…perhaps a unit when we marched on the rest of Burgundine? "Varick," My father began to say. There was an air of pride that I could make out in his words. That was it is….I would prove myself to my father! "You have done well. It is because of this that I am going to give you your own command." My father gave me a brief smile that spoke that he was proud of me. "You will be in charge of the 12th division."

My chest swelled with pride at his words. I had proven myself well for a division is made up of several brigades. I would directly be in charge of around 10,000 men and the 12th division had a fierce fighting reputation. They were not green soldiers. "I am honored, father," I replied with a bow of my head. My father grasped my shoulder and looked at me directly.

"You will be directly under the command of Lord Ehren," My father added. Lord Ehren was the general in charge of the left front, which was one half of our army. "You will obey him as if he was I," My father commanded me. "I will also be sending Lord Conrad to advise you." Lord Conrad was one of my father's most trusted advisors and had served him well in many campaigns.

I bowed my head. "Thank you, father," I stated gratefully. "I promise I will not let you down." I looked back at my father's eyes to see the approval in them.

My father squeezed my shoulder and let go of me. He resumed his walk and I matched his pace. "As you know, Lord Ehren will be leaving with the left front to start our assault on the eastern half of Burgundine. They will leave in two days hence. You will join your command and start your first siege at the Castle Taunusberg."

"Burgundine is already in our grasp," I claimed. "This campaign will be easy."

"Perhaps," My father responded distantly. There was a look on his face I did not quite understand. "I will not be at ease until their Princess Adalaide has been captured. If she has truly escaped the Capital, she is a threat to us."

I had learned that women could not fight and were incapable of being true participants in a war. The notion that she could cause trouble for us almost made me laugh. My father was joking certainly. When I searched his face I found no trace of mockery there. _He was being serious?_ "You aren't serious…" I began to say skeptically.

"If Princess Adalaide is anything like her father, she will prove to cause much trouble," My father affirmed with a far-off look. "If she reveals herself outside of the capital, I will expect you to track her down and capture her immediately."

"And if she cannot be captured?" I asked him simply.

"You will kill her and squash any rebellion if you must," My father retorted bluntly. "We have Prince Enric and his parents. If she dies….so be it."

I wondered what this Princess Adalaide must be like to have my father so round up. He had never even met this girl! What was it about King Derek that him so….standing on edge? The thought disappeared at the knowledge that I would have my own command. True, I would be under the command of others, but still….it was a chance to prove myself! Even better, if Princess Adalaide was stupid enough to reveal herself….I personally would be the one to oversee her capture!

* * *

A/N: Here is the latest chapter and sorry for the lack of updates. Thanks for reading and please review!


	8. Chapter 7: Ada's Escape

Afraid to Lose

Chapter Seven:

Ada's Escape

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"_She nourishes the poison in her veins and is consumed by a secret fire."_ –Virgil

Disclaimer: I do not own the Swan Princess.

* * *

_I was walking through the courtyard of the palace. Everywhere around me where bodies piled upon bodies. The sky above was a sanguine red from the sun setting or rising. The air was thick with the stench of fire and rotting flesh. The only music to my ears was the moans of dying men and the sounds of far off battle. Tears were creeping out of my eyes as I tried to keep from crying in horror and revulsion. Suddenly I tripped over a body and went sprawling into a pool of blood. I gagged and spat out the coppery taste of blood from my mouth. My hands were covered by the blood pool that was several inches thick. A scream came from me as I scrambled out of the pool for inches away from my face had been a familiar face._

…_.Reynold…_

_I would not have recognized him. Those brown eyes, my brother's warm eyes, were empty as cold night and there had been maggots beginning to worm their way into his eye sockets. Bile retched up the back of my throat as I puked onto the back of corpse that lay beside me. A dry retch came from me as I recognized the grey hair on the corpse. It was my grandmother! Her hand was outstretched and burned to a tender crisp. I rose to my feet and looked around me. Every corpse around me was of my family and people I knew. Friends, servants, and other nobles I knew from court. "Oh God," I moaned. "No…no….no...NNNNOOOOO!" I raised my hands to scratch out my eyes so I would not have to see the nightmare before me. My hands shook in front of my face for they were stained red from the bloody pool. All I could see was blood everywhere. A scream of unadulterated fear came from me._

"Your Highness, wake up!" A woman's voice urged me. I flailed about as I opened my eyes to the waking word. I was still screaming and thrashing about. "It's only a dream! You're safe, Your Highness!" The woman cried once more. I looked at the woman who sat above me and recognized her as the woman who had comforted me in the courtyard. That's right; I thought to myself, she brought me somewhere _safe_. The word meant so much then. I sobbed for several minutes as the woman comforted me until I was able to compose myself. The events from the day before came rushing in at me as I came out of a still sleeping mind.

The woman was named Brigitte and was the wife of one of the guards. They had let the servants of the palace go and had told us to go directly home. The fires in the city would be put out by their own soldiers they told us, since they were the ones who had started them. They were only trying to get on the good side of my people, I had thought coldly. Anyone seen on the streets would be killed immediately until everything was in order. Brigitte had taken me to her home. It had been late and she had told me to sleep. I did not think it possible, but I do not even recall getting in the bed. "Thank you, Brigitte," I managed to croak as I pulled myself up to a sitting position. Brigitte still sat on the side of my bed. No one would ever dare to usually be so informal with me. I had paid little attention to her home the night before, but I looked around the simple room.

The door was closed so I could not see out of it. There was a window next to the bed that I laid on that was nestled in the corner. The sunlight coming through it was pale, revealing it to be early morning. I looked out the window to see an empty street and the rooftops of other houses. I was on the second or third floor of a building. Across the room was the closed door and the only other items in the room were a wardrobe and a table against the wall across the room from the bed. There was a wooden chair of simple make and a candlestick with a half-gone candle. One circular rug that was worse for wear was beside the bed. This room spoke of the means to get by and not much more than that. Brigitte had told me that her husband was in the guard. There had been no one else here when we had come. I looked back at the woman who sat beside me. She had cleaned up since the night before and was in a light blue dress of common material. Her dark hair was pulled back. She was not one of great beauty, but one of general looks. There were lines around her eyes that spoke of middle-age and her eyes though, a fierce blue, belied any other previous dismissals I would have given her. Brigitte's eyes showed a fierce strength and courage that I wished I felt. "Are you hungry?" She asked me concerned. "I made some breakfast already. My husband and son are eager to meet you as well." I was glad to hear that her husband was alright. My face must have shown what I was thinking. "He wasn't at the palace when…" She stopped as the saw the flash of pain slide across my face.

I could feel the hunger pain in my stomach. "Yes," I replied. Anything so I would not have to think. I followed Brigitte into a small hallway. She led me down a small hallway that opened up into one larger room. The room was a kitchen to one side and the other a table surrounded by chairs. Two men sat at the chairs and were eating. They both stood up and the chairs were pushed up with a screech as they did so. The older man bowed first and the younger one followed suit. "Please, have a seat, Your Highness," The older man greeted me as he pulled out a chair for me to sit in. I sat in the chair silently. The man retook his position across from me where the younger man sat as well.

"I'll grab you some food," Brigitte told me as she hurried off to the other side of the room. I stared at the two men before me whom also stared right back. The older man was in his later middle-years and had the muscular frame of a soldier. He had lines on his forehead that made it seem as if he were arching his eyebrows and dark brown hair, speckled grey that was cut short to his head. He had mustache that was trimmed to frame the sides of his mouth. He and the younger man both had the same shade of hazel eyes and were dressed in simpler clothing as Brigitte was. The young man had Brigitte's hair and it was down to around the length of his ears. Unlike his father, he was clean shaven and had to be in his late teens. He had a winsome face that had a look as if he were always about to laugh. "This is my husband Garrison and my son Niko," Brigitte told me as she set a plate before me. She sat down the right of me on another side of the rectangular table.

"Thank you," I murmured. I did not pay attention to what the food even was as I started to eat it. I felt numb. It did not seem as if any of this was real. Any moment now I would wake up in my bed from this terrible dream.

"We're glad you made it out safe, Your Highness," Garrison said bluntly. He gave me a reassuring smile. "Don't worry. We'll find a way to get you out of the city safe."

Out of the city? No…Enrik….father….mother! "I can't do that!" I exclaimed, dropping the fork that I had been holding in my hand. "I have to save my family first! I won't leave them here!"

"What are you going to do? Storm up the castle and ask for them politely?" Garrison asked me roughly. "The city and the palace are swarming with the enemy! There's no way to help them right now."

"But…." I began to say haltingly. I looked at three people before me and knew he spoke only the truth. He was right.

"Your safety is what is important right now," Brigitte said gently. "I know you want to help your family, Your Highness. We all do."

I looked down at my plate of food. The realization that I had no idea what do occurred to me. I was completely naïve. My brothers would know what to do. They were right that battle was no place for a girl. I had never been trained for it. "What happens now?" I inquired depressed. I was helpless without these people.

"We wait until the curfew is lifted," Garrison explained. "They'll lift it soon enough once they feel they are in enough control. They don't want the people rioting on their hands. When this happens, we'll find a way to get you out of the city."

"This city isn't surrounded by a wall," Niko added, speaking at last. I looked up at the man who had to be very close to my age. "It'll be a cinch to get you out!"

"From there….I don't know, Your Highness," Garrison further explained. "It depends on you."

"The original plan was to escape to Fischer," I informed him in a pained voice. If it had gone as it was supposed to, my grandmother would still be alive. "I can't run away now," I added in what I hoped sounded brave. It did not. I sounded terrified. "I won't run away." There was admiration in all three of their gazes. I did not deserve it. What could I do for my people? For my family? I would try as best as I could, I vowed silently to myself.

"Most likely they'll go after the biggest cities and strongholds next," Garrison said thoughtfully. "They'll try to get rid of anyone swiftly who'll cause them trouble. At least, that's what I've heard about their usual tactics."

"If that's the case, they'll go after Taunusburg or Dresden first," Niko interjected. Garrison nodded at him.

"The question remains what do you plan to do, Your Highness," Garrison asked me forwardly. "If you want to help your family, your people, will you find a way to fight them? Or will you go to Fischer?"

"We won't judge you if you do," Brigitte said quietly. "Your safety is what is most important to us. The nation will understand. If you go to Fischer, you can get help from there. War is not our domain."

I felt the acidic feeling of rage and hatreds still brimming in my veins. I wanted to kill those responsible and save my family. No matter how scared I was, I would not run. My hand curled around the fork with a viselike grip. "I told you I'm not running," I said darkly. "I'm going to fight!"

Garrison looked at me appraisingly. "Then Your Highness should go to one of the forts towards the southern border. You'll be away from the enemy and can start gathering the allies you'll need." I nodded in agreement. He was a soldier and knew more than I did about the military power of the kingdom.

* * *

A day passed until the curfew was lifted on the city. There were soldiers everywhere and there was still an early curfew in affect. Anyone attempting to leave the city had to receive permission first, but that would not be granted. They did not want civilians to be fleeing from the city. Repairs on damaged buildings had already begun. Brigitte had given me new clothes to wear that made my skin itch from the lesser fine quality of cloth then I was used to. She kept me company as that day dragged on but left me to simmer in silence. She knew I did not wish to speak, but instead chattered here and there to fill in the silence. When the curfew had been lifted, Garrison and Niko had left when it had been. Hours passed before they returned with another man. Garrison introduced him to me as Hertz.

Hertz was a middle-aged man with a longer nose and thin face. There were deep lines in his face that made him look older. Apparently he owned a stable on the edge of the city and had managed to sneak a few horses out into the countryside nearby before the fighting had begun. Garrison told me that Hertz and Riko would take me through the city to Hertz's home near the stable. When night fell, we would sneak past the enemy guarding the outskirts of the city and to said horses then freedom. Riko was to be my guide and guard for the journey. He was training to be a soldier like his father. We could not travel with too many companions. It would be suspicious. Garrison did tell me that many had volunteered to escort me. There were already beginning to form an underground network within the city.

I had thanked Brigitte goodbye and thanked her. To my surprise, she had had given me a fierce hug and had whispered to me that it she was _proud_ of me. She said that herself, and the city, never would have thought their little book-worm princess could be so brave and selfless. They were wrong. I was not brave or selfless! _That was Reynold….my brother…._

I had felt uncomfortable as I had watched her say goodbye to her Riko. It turned out he was her only son and she was letting him risk his life for me. Garrison had to stay here for the enemy knew who he was. They had found the registries for all of the soldiers and would track each one down. The ones they had captured before they had released if they had sworn to never pick up a sword against them again. The ones that they tracked down to their homes….if they seemed to have fled, they had killed their relatives. Riko was not a soldier yet and therefore not on the registries. I felt guilty still for I was taking their son away and putting them all at risk.

We left for Hertz's stables without a hitch. The streets were still fairly empty with the occasional wide-eyed people hurrying along. We kept our eyes down when we saw any patrols nearby. The sight of their hateful colors of red and white made me heart pound like a wild drum. The fear was also enticing my heart to play a wild beat. When we reached Hertz's home near the stables, we entered it and waited several hours until nightfall. Somehow we made it past the patrols under a blessedly dark sky and with Hertz as our guide. Brigitte had given us several packs of supplies to last for the journey. We had made it to the edge of the nearby forest and a few meters into the forest were four horses tethered in small clearing.

Garrison had come as well. He strapped the pack I had been given to one of the horses. "Do you know how to ride?" He asked me.

"Yes," I replied. That was one physical activity I had been taught to do and to do well. I missed the horse I usually rode on, but pushed away the knowledge of what happened to my favorite steed. Garrison helped me up onto the horse as I sat side-saddle and hiked up my dress a little. I could not make out his or Hertz's faces in the dark. Riko had already said goodbye to his father as he mounted a horse nearby.

"Stay safe, Your Highness," Garrison said. "We'll all be praying for you."

"Pray for Burgundine," I told him honestly. "Thank you, both of you."

"Go now," Hertz commanded us. I looked over at Riko who nodded. I nudged my horse into a gallop and followed Riko for he knew the way. I looked back towards the clearing to see the two outlines of the men disappear through the foliage. They had helped me. All of them. Riko risked his life now to help me. I would return the favor; I swore to myself, I would bring hell upon Roelande for my people and for my family!

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the wait everyone! College you know. Anyways, thanks for reading and please do review!


	9. Chapter 8: Varick's Perspective

Afraid to Lose

Chapter Eight:

Varick's Perspective

* * *

"_An angry man opens his mouth and shuts his eyes."_ –Cato the Elder

Disclaimer: I do not own The Swan Princess.

* * *

In two days I was to leave in command of the 12th division. It would be my first command and I could not resist the pride that entered my thoughts. There would be no mistakes. I would make my father proud. He would not regret giving me my own command. Naturally he had assigned a military advisor to me, Lord Conrad, a trusted noble from Roelande whom had served in my father's military council for years. Lord Conrad was a retired and heavily decorated general, additionally famous for his military knowledge and prowess. This was a further honor that my father had bestowed upon me.

The invading army we had brought to Burgundine was only a fraction of our military might. In my father's expanding empire, there was a regular network of forts and garrisons spread throughout the empire to keep the peace. In any country that had become part of my father's empire, their armies were disbanded and allowed to join ours if loyalty had been proven with time. The enforcement of laws was implemented by their own peacekeeping forces which were naturally watched with a keen eye for the enforcement of our laws, but also for any corruption and just treatment of civilians. We did not need any uprising because of any unjust actions done in Roelande's name. The idea was that eventually with time they would come to see themselves as the citizens of Roelande, not of their vanished kingdom. This is also exemplified through our public education system and libraries. My father had said to me once wisely, _"If we treat the common man justly and better than his previous monarchs, he will come to embrace us as his nation."_

The court systems were modeled on our own and those in it trained according to our ways. Our laws are universal; throughout the empire and replaced those of any new addition to the empire. As said before, we liked the previous monarchies in place and we even treated the common people better than their own monarchies a good portion of the time. But if there was any rebellion, it was stamped out swiftly and with no mercy. My father had created a just empire, but one that had to be ruthless at times. The forces throughout the empire were on a rotation system of sorts, for no soldier deserved to be at the front lines for too long of a time period. Excluding the naval forces we had brought, the army was made of the Left and Right Fronts. My father was in direct control of both, but left the actual directions for the Left Front to Lord Ehren. The Right Front was being led by my father, whose efforts would be concentrated on the eastern half of Burgundine. The Left Front would be focusing on the western half of which my new command was a part of. After my meeting with my father, he sent me to a military meeting of Lord Ehren's with his military commanders. My father did not usually attend the meetings between his officials and their own men beneath them. The general strategy plan had already been approved with my father and his council, so the more specifics from there would be handled by Lord Ehren with his own men when it came to their part.

The meeting was in a chamber in a part of the castle I had not been before. From the looks of it, I assumed it to be previously used by the nobles of the Burgundine court. A soldier standing guard outside announced my presence as I walked into the chamber. The room looked to be an antechamber to a bedroom perhaps. There were no windows; merely the walls and floors were made of the same stone used throughout the palace. Fine banners and a rug decorated the room, but the table in the center of clearly did not belong. It seemed Lord Ehren had disposed of any previous furniture that had existed. The chamber was crowded with eleven men that all turned or looked up from where they were standing around the rectangular table. Said table was covered with a map of Burgundine and red markers representing our forces. I had been to countless meetings like this with my father with his military council and leaders. All of the men bowed as I entered.

I had met Lord Ehren at the meetings with my father before. He was a man preparing to leave his middle-age with short hair, perhaps a dark brown once, was riddled with grey hairs along with closely trimmed beard. His face was strong with a nose on the larger side, but fitting for his build. He was shorter then I and of square muscular build. Hoe wore the more casual leather jerkins our troops would wear when not in combat, but these ones were of a finer make and accompanied with his dark red cape. The lines age were deep along his hazel eyes and mouth. "Your Highness," He greeted me formally with a trace of a smile. Lord Ehren was an experienced and capable military leader and from an old noble family of Roelande. He was a younger son whom had made his career through the military. It was his older brother if I recalled correctly who held the title of a marquis. He was an honorable and all together decent man whom was not without a sense of humor.

"Lord Ehren," I replied with a nod.

"I presume your father just gave you the news," He stated kindly enough. "May I be the first to congratulate you on your new command?"

"Thank you, Lord Ehren," I responded. The formalities always had to be dealt with first, though I itched to get down to business. My father had taught me that the formalities always come first and were necessary, lest you provoke someone needlessly. It was well said when my father always observed the decorum, even with our enemies. We had sent a message demanding for Burg undine's surrender prior to our starting the attack on the capital. King Derek had refused obviously and now paid the consequences. "I will extend what an honor it is to be serving under your command," I politely returned to Lord Ehren.

Lord Ehren smiled and laughed amused. I felt a flash of irritation. Was he daring to mock me? Lord Ehren saw the look on my face that I could not prevent from showing itself and his next words calmed my ruffled ego immediately. "Apologies Sire," He said with amusement still apparent. "Technically the honor is all ours," He explained, inclining his head to the rest of the men present. I glanced at the group present and recognized the awe in some, except for Lord Conrad. "You will be king one day."

"I am also young," I admitted honestly, touched now by Lord Ehren's reaction. He was an honorable and infamous man for his military expertise. Though not as quite as famous as Lord Conrad. He honored me as he should, but I was still quite inexperienced compared to him. "And will learn from your expertise," I finished, seeing the appraisal and approval on some of the men's' faces. "And others."

"And mine, Your Highness?" Lord Conrad inquired in half-jest. I bowed my head towards him. Lord Conrad had served my father closely for years and I had known him since I was a boy. We knew each other well enough and he was an old favorite of my father's. Unlike Lord Ehren, Lord Conrad was an old man for his hair was entirely grey with age, along with his closely trimmed mustache and pointed beard on his chin. His longer hair was pulled back and was starting to bald form his receding hairline. Light blue eyes gazed at me with slight mirth from a face marked with lines and several scars. Even though he was somewhere in his sixties, he was still a soldier to the bone and kept his thin, but muscular body in shape. He was the only man in the room who was eye level with me. He was once supposed to be one most handsome and sought after man at court in his younger years. Lord Conrad is a famous military man, but also for his bravery and bold speech.

"Of course, Lord Conrad," I said in acknowledgement. The corners of my mouth went up in the smallest of smiles. I was glad he would be with me on this campaign.

"Sire, let's get the introductions underway," Lord Ehren addressed me, earnest to get back to the meeting. I nodded in agreement. He introduced seven of the men in the room by name and rank, each bowing as they should upon their introduction. They were all of varying ages, but mostly middle-aged. Several were perhaps in their mid-twenties. Each of them was a commander of a division, the same post that I now held. There are eight divisions in the Left Front, making me one of the eight commanders. Some I recognized by family name to be nobility, but not all of them were. Many commoners worked their way up through the ranks, but if any of these men were, I was not entirely sure which were. Except for one young man near my age who hovered at the edge of the group. He was clearly a scribe with quill and paper on hand, most likely Lord Ehren's personal secretary. Finally the meeting commenced, there was the usual discussions and planning of tactics, specifically for the upcoming attack on Taunusburg. It was decided that three divisions, mine included, would be a powerful enough force for the battle. The other five divisions would be implemented across the countryside, going from town to village.

We would be marching for Taunusburg in two days.

* * *

After the meeting, I proceeded to try to learn what I could of my yet to be captured enemy, Princess Adalaide. The reports that we had heard before the invasion were somewhat vague. She had not been a top priority for she was the youngest and not the heir. A daughter. Nothing more. In the royal wing, one of our soldiers led me to what was believed to be her room. The room was much smaller then what my sister's had, but fit enough for a princess. Windows ran alongside one wall, showing a view of the gardens below and ocean with part of our fleet anchored in it. The rest of the naval force was patrolling and taking control of the Burgundine coastal villages and towns. There was a small room wash room adjacent. A thick, embroidered rug covered and several banners with nature scenes. There was a four poster bed and wardrobe and chest on the opposing wall. In the corner a bureau with a mirror and to my immediate left a desk and chair with a small shelf on its other side. The room still smelled of her….had she frantically packed before fleeing? I wondered.

I flung open the wardrobe and saw that it seemed untouched. There was no riding dress or cloak. She had not packed, but instead took only what was necessary or perhaps even only the clothes on her back. Next I explored the bureau, discovering that there was no expensive jewelry. The reports that we did have of Princess Adalaide reported that she was pretty enough, typical of any princess, but not a grand beauty. She was something of a scholar supposedly and spent much of her time in the library. That was all we knew. I poured over her books, finding them to cover history to philosophy, a surprising selection for the average princess, but not to extraordinary. There were several half-written letters on the desk, addressed to several childhood friends who must be young noble women. Her room told me several things about her….she seemed to be realistic, prudent even, by taking only what was necessary. Jewelry to use for money if needed and only one or two garments. Of course someone could have restricted her packing. She had an interest in reading and from her choices in books, was probably somewhat intelligent. Other than that, the room could tell little else about her. Where was she now? Cowering somewhere in the capital or fleeing to the countryside? Was she truly already over the border as her brother had claimed? My father did not believe it and he was usually right.

Next I went to the library with a faint hope I might learn more there. If I understood her, at the least had an idea of what she is like, I would know what to expect when she finally reveals herself. Then I will track her down and find her. I was also curious to see the library for I had heard Burgundine was proud of its size. I had been interested to see if it would match the size we had back at home in Roelande or the public library my father had built in the Capital over twenty years ago. My father had taught me that knowledge is precious and can be finitely more powerful than any force at times….though why he chose to share it freely with the common masses I did not quite understand, especially if it was a potential threat. The idea, according to my father, was that to have an educated people on _our_ side was the principle desire and in the simple fact that no nation had created a public education system that my father had initiated, along with a string of public libraries through our domain.

The midday light streamed through the windows, creating a sense of peace in the silent library. I found myself feeling a peace, a comfort of sorts that I usually found only in the thoughts of my family. The image of Mailou rose before my eyes. She would have looked around this palace inquisitively, exploring every nook and cranny. The sunlight would have gleamed in her fiery red hair. "Rick," I could hear her say."

I was rooted on the spot while lost in my thoughts. Reality returned, but the comfortable atmosphere of the library remained. I wandered amongst the books and found one private corner where several comfy chairs laid nestled by a window, hidden amongst the shelves. This is where she came, I thought. She probably considered this her private sanctuary. It was a good spot with the window for the view and the sunlight. There was even a small stack of books lying on the ground next to one of the chairs. I walked over and bent over to pick up the two books on the top of the stack. I read the titles: _A Collected History of Magic throughout the Southern Kingdoms_ and _Magic? Benign or Evil?_ So she had an interest in magic, I thought amused. My father would begin to teach me his magic after we have conquered Burgundine. Did she want to learn magic? While magic was certainly beneficial to my father in many ways, it did not maintain his kingdom for him. That is what he had taught me. I placed the two books on the cushion of the chair. The next several books were also on the usage of magic. The four books had markers in them, places she had found to be of interest. The last two books in the pile had no pieces of paper sticking out of them, showing that she had not read them yet. The first one was on various stories of any sort, many more like myths I realized I skimmed its pages.

The last book was on _Mythical and Magical Creatures_, according to its title. I flipped open the book and was startled to see that a good middle section of the book had been cut out. In it was hidden a golden heart-shaped locket on a golden chain beside it, not belonging to the book. _It's not what it seems_. I took the locket out of the book, examining the swan that was engraved on the front of the locket. I opened the locket. My fist clenched the locket instantly….for the two images painted there made no sense. The one on the left was of youthful woman and an almost the exact replica of _my mother._ The same eyes and hair, although there were differences in the shape of this woman's face. It was softer and she had a rounder chin. I had never seen a portrait of my mother's mother at all. This woman could easily have been her mother for my mother has no family left. Or perhaps a relative from her mother's family? _But….the resemblance….and on the right side was a painting of a beautiful baby girl with the same eyes and golden hair._ I closed the locket and turned it over to examine the back. The tiny scrawl engraved there made me feel as if someone had knocked the wind out of me when I had fallen of my horse when first learning to ride.

_For Princess Odette, may your mother remain close your heart, from Queen Uberta and Prince Derek_.

I rose to my feet in silence, scrambling in my mind the reason for the existence of this locket and why it had been hidden away in this book. It seemed Princess Adalaide had not even the book for it had been at the bottom of the stack. _That baby….that infant was my mother and the woman was her mother…_

Why would this have been a present to her from _them?_ Perhaps….it was different when my mother's father had ruled….perhaps it had been a present when she would have been presented to the other kingdoms. The same had been done for my sisters, even more so for me, with our nobility and the kingdoms we had conquered. Yet if that was the case, what was it doing here? At their library hidden away with the words written _it's not what it seems_?

I wanted to know. No, I_ needed_ to know the answer. My mother has never been to Burgundine. She was saved by my father from a terrible creature that had killed her father. My feet led me out of the library and to the only person that I could think of to ask. There was a dark cloud that had taken a hold over me. Somehow I knew that I should not go to my father with this, though I refused to think that was because I suspected he might _lie to me_. The very thought was sinful and I thrashed it out of my mind as I stormed down to the dungeons...

* * *

Several soldiers stood guard and bowed towards me. "Take me to Queen Lida's cell," I ordered them harshly. King Derek was already on his way as a prisoner to Roelande and I doubted that Prince Enric knew anything about this. One of the soldiers led me to her cell without protest and unlocked it. I slammed the cell door shut behind me as I walked into the dank cell. Queen Lida had been curled up against the wall and stood up to her feet hastily. I was not startled to see the bruises now marring her face. The torture had just begun. They had probably had finished with her for the day and would continue tomorrow. I noticed that she favored leaning her weight on her right foot that she had not done in our last encounter.

"Do you know what this is?" I demanded bluntly with blazing eyes as I held the locket out in front of her by the chain.

Queen Lida took a sharp intake of breath at the sight of the locket. "My god," She whispered with amazed eyes. Her face had the hints of being in pain, yet her shock seemed to push it aside. "Where on earth did you find that?"

"That doesn't matter!" I snapped uncivilly. I had inherited my father's temper as Mailou had. "Tell me what you know of it!"

Queen Lida's eyes shifted from the locket to my face with the exhaustion and pain returning to her face. "It belonged to your mother," She informed me quietly. "She was engaged to my husband from the time they were children."

She was lying. Queen Lida was trying to make me betray my father with sinful thoughts. My mother had never been to Burgundine before! "You're lying!" I snarled vehemently and with iron hands I grabbed Queen Lida's shoulders. She winced at the contact as I shook her. There was no denial or fear in her eyes, which made me more furious as I felt the flames cloud my mind. My hands pushed her and Queen Lida fell back into the stone wall with a cry of pain. She did not fall to her feet and somehow managed to maintain her royal dignity as she looked at me.

"I'm not lying," She countered as I glared at her. "She was engaged to Derek until the day she disappeared when her party was attacked. Her father was killed and she was thought to be dead. I was already married to Derek when he received news that she had returned to Roelande with _your father_." Queen Lida hissed at the ending at the mention of my father. "He claimed to have saved her from some sort of monster. After that _your father_ began his wars."

"You're lying," I swore to myself as it was an oath. I should have gone to my father, I thought hazily. Not to her. She was the enemy and trying to mess with my mind. I whirled around and charged out of the dungeon. There was no way a word what she had said was true. She was lying. It was a lie….my fist clenched around the locket…

_If she was lying, I thought darkly through the red haze of my thoughts, then why did this locket exist?_

* * *

A/N: Ah...yeah...it's been awhile, dear readers. I will try to be more regular on the updates from now on, but I've been busy on my exchange program. Thanks for reading and please review!


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